Every estate plan tells a story of values, priorities, and relationships. When it comes to children you’ve become distant from, deciding what role they should play in your legacy can be one of the most difficult parts of planning. Some parents lean toward inclusion to preserve family ties, while others feel a clear separation is more honest or protective. There’s no universal rule, only what feels right for your situation.
At Surprenant, Beneski & Nunes, P.C., we work closely with families across Massachusetts to help make these decisions with clarity and compassion. Here, we explore your legal options and some thoughtful ways to move forward, even when the path isn’t clear at first.
Understanding the Legal Right to Disinherit
Massachusetts law does not require you to leave an inheritance to your adult children. You are free to distribute your estate however you see fit, as long as your plan complies with legal formalities and is clearly documented.
Disinheriting an adult child, however, is not as simple as omitting their name from your will. A child who believes they were unfairly excluded could contest the will. In cases where they claim undue influence, lack of capacity, or fraud, the court may intervene.
While a contest is not guaranteed to succeed, these disputes can be expensive and emotionally draining for surviving family members. Proper planning can reduce the likelihood of your wishes being challenged in court.
Reasons Families Consider Disinheritance
There’s no single reason people choose to disinherit a child, but some common ones include:
- Long-term estrangement or breakdown of communication
- Harmful behavior, such as abuse or criminal activity
- Concerns about addiction or untreated mental illness
- Patterns of financial irresponsibility
- A desire to leave assets to others who provided care or emotional support
This choice is rarely made lightly. Some parents feel they’ve exhausted all other options. Others want to protect the rest of the family or honor long-held boundaries.
Alternatives to Complete Disinheritance
Cutting a child out of your estate completely may feel too final or too risky. There are middle-ground options that allow you to acknowledge the relationship while still maintaining boundaries:
- Partial inheritance: Leave a smaller share to the estranged child compared to other beneficiaries.
- One-time lump sum: Provide a modest amount with no ongoing obligations.
- Conditional gifts: Use a trust to provide funds only if certain conditions are met.
In some cases, leaving a small but clearly defined gift can help demonstrate that the decision was intentional, not an oversight. This may reduce the likelihood of legal challenges and preserve family dignity.
Using Trusts to Maintain Some Control and Support
Trusts offer a flexible way to provide conditional support while protecting your estate. If you want to leave something to an estranged child but worry about how they’ll handle it, a trust can help.
Consider the following structures:
- Discretionary trust: A trustee manages the funds and distributes money only when it serves your intended purpose, such as covering education, housing, or medical expenses.
- Spendthrift trust: This type of trust limits the beneficiary’s access and protects the assets from creditors or reckless spending.
- Milestone trust: You can tie distributions to specific achievements, such as completing a rehabilitation program or reaching a certain age.
With the right structure, you can offer support without enabling harmful behaviors or putting your other beneficiaries at risk.
Emotional Considerations and Family Communication
Deciding what’s fair isn’t always easy. Estate planning involves more than money—it touches on values, family history, and unresolved pain. If you’re unsure how to approach your estate plan, consider your intentions. Are you trying to send a message? Prevent future conflict? Or simply protect the people closest to you now?
In some cases, it may help to write a separate letter explaining your reasoning. While it won’t carry legal weight, it can provide context and comfort to the family you leave behind.
If direct communication with your estranged child feels impossible, we can help you consider other ways to express your intent clearly and respectfully.
Preventing Will Contests Through Proper Planning
No matter what you decide, careful planning is key. To reduce the chance of disputes:
- Work with an experienced estate planning attorney
- Include a no-contest clause in your will or trust
- Document your capacity and understanding at the time of signing
- Review your estate plan regularly, especially after major life changes
Taking these steps can help ensure your wishes are honored and protect your loved ones from unnecessary conflict.
Moving Forward with Confidence
There’s no one right answer when it comes to estranged family members and inheritance. What matters is that your plan reflects your values, protects your legacy, and brings you peace of mind.
At Surprenant, Beneski & Nunes, P.C., we will help you weigh your options and craft a plan that works for your unique family dynamics. Whether you choose inclusion, exclusion, or something in between, we’re here to support you every step of the way. Contact us to discuss how to clarify your wishes and secure your future.